Life on Death Row

From Ellis Unit to Polunsky Unit Death Row

Livingston TX, Polunsky Unit is where they house Texas Death Row (DR) inmates. I came to Polunsky Unit November 18, 1999 from the old Ellis Unit in Huntsville TX. Ellis Unit was a much different prison. First it is over 100 years old and built like many of the old prisons. Plus over there, we were allowed to work, had group recreation and TV, had church service, and could make outside art supply purchases from a public vendor.

But then the big escape happened: 6 inmates tried to escape and one actually succeeded in getting over the fence and making a run for it, Texas DR prisoner Martin Gurule. He, out of all the rest, was the only one to hit the fence and keep going. The rest, as the first shot was fired from the guard towers, hit the ground while Martin had his mind dead set on getting over the fence or get shot trying to get over it. I think out of all of them, he was the only one who was serious about it. So he made it, was grazed by a bullet but kept on going and made it to the woods. He had put on extra clothing and a bunch of cardboard so he wouldn’t get cut up on the razor wire. But he came to a river and tried to swim it with all that stuff on and drowned. They found him over a week later and he still had all that stuff on. But he made it outside. But as a result of those guys trying to escape, they shipped all Death Row inmates to this hell hole. It used to be called Terrell Unit, but later it was changed to Polunsky after Mr. Terrell, which the unit was named after, said he didn’t want his name associated with the Death Penalty.

I have been here ever since. And it is nothing like it was at Ellis. Polunsky Unit has General Population (GP), Death Row (DR) and Administrative Segregation (Ad Seg). Death Row and Ad Seg are all housed on 12 building which is total lock up, meaning everyone is housed in single person cells. We are handcuffed everywhere we go including recreation (rec) and shower. If I step out of my cell for anything, even just for a moment, they must handcuff me. There is no work program, no TV, no group rec and that is the way it is and will remain. Once Texas Department of Criminal Justice (TDCJ) takes something away, they don’t give it back.

12 Building, Pods, Sections, Cells

12 Building consist of 6 Pods, each Pod has 84 cells, A-Pod to F-Pod and each Pod has 6 sections, from A-section to F-section. Each section has 14 cells and a day room and two showers. 7 Cells on 1 row, 1-7 and 7 cells on 2 row, 8-14. We normally shower on the row we live on. But we can go to rec in different sections. We get 2 hours of rec 5 days a week, Monday – Friday, while there is no rec at all on Saturday or Sunday. But that could change, they are always changing the rec schedule. It seems like every time we get a new warden or major, they want to change something just to change it so they feel their way works the best. They like to show they are in charge. Me? I could care less, just give me my 2 hours out of this cage and put me into a bigger cage which is either the day rec room or one of the outside rec yards. A ‘Pod’ is just another way to say ‘cell block’.

Each day room is about 30 x 20 feet with a table and toilet in it, as well as a pull-up bar. The outside rec pretty is much the same thing but no table. Instead there is a basketball and goal out there to shoot the ball.

Everything about 12 building is pretty much dependent on General Population (GP), meaning it is the inmates from GP who do all the cleaning back here and who make our [food] trays. They send all the food to 12 building from the main kitchen and have a serving line here on 12 building and the inmates make the trays and load them into a hot food cart that is then taken to the pods. The guard will than pass out each tray, wake us up and ask us if we are going to eat. They have to write everything down, so if you don’t eat or do, they write it down. Same with rec and shower and laundry. Everything is logged.

My Typical Day

Morning: A typical day for me personally starts at about 4:00 am. That is when they start feeding breakfast, well actually they start at around 3: 30 am, but sometimes a little later or in some cases a little earlier. It all depends on how fast the trays get made and passed out. So after I wake up, I eat and clean up my cage and I then start working out. They start asking us one at a time if we are going to rec or shower at 5:30. The first round of rec is usually pulled out at around 6 am. We are supposed to get two hours, but sometimes it is longer. Mostly longer. I have been in that day room 3 and 4 hours at times. But never less than 2 hours. They will either set me up for rec on the 1st round or 8th round, depending on just how many guys actually decide to go to rec on any given day, so you just have to wait your turn. For those that don’t go to rec, they start taking them to the showers one at a time, filling up each shower. They try and get in as many into showers as they can. Then it is time for the next round of rec to start. But the guards are always having to stop in the middle of what they are doing to escort someone else around, like the nurse, or mail room, chaplin, or they get called off the pod in the event there is a use of force. If one of the guards is on the ‘suit up team’ that day, guys could get trapped in the shower for well over an hour at times. And stuck in the day room far longer than 2 hours. But they try and keep things moving as well as they can.

Lunch: By the second round, it is time for lunch. They normally feed lunch here about 10 or 11 am, but again it all depends on what is happening. Anything could happen, someone dies, gets kills or tries to kill themselves, or a guard or inmate gets assaulted, or an inmate gets gassed for refusing to come out of the day room or shower, or refuses to give the tray back, or doesn’t allow them to close the food slot. Like I said, anything can happen to cause things to come to a standstill. After all, it is prison; it is full of hard heads.

Supper: Then there is supper, it is normally done around 3:30 pm or whenever they get to it. That can also depend on what is happening at any given moment. For the most part, things here on 12 building run pretty smoothly, more so with DR than it does with GP AD Seg; they are a total different breed of convict.

Difference between Death Row and General Population

Ad Seg inmates never used to be here on 12 building; at one time 12 building was nothing but DR inmates. They had a lot more of us here then, over 400, but they have cut that number in half. So with all the extra beds, they had to have somewhere to put the overflow of AD Seg inmates, so they shipped them here, and let me tell you, they are wild! Those cats will get to go home one day, but they are half crazy, following no rules, staying in trouble and are 99% of the problem here on 12 building. I’m not complaining but it is just fact. But I can understand them, I was just like them once. I was wild, real wild. But I have mellowed out.

One thing is certain, the guards do not like working with the Ad Seg inmates as there's a vast difference: DR is very laid back, Ad Seg just don’t care. They build fires, flood the walk ways, assault the guards, not that there aren’t some on DR that do that. But the difference is when a DR inmate goes off, it is because one of the guards really pushed his button. But yes, there are some who act a fool. Hell, I can be one of them. I’m not going to sugar coat it. I try to be good, but there are times if my button is pushed, yeah, I can and will let them know the best thing they can do is go mess with someone else. But I am one that stays to myself, I know me, and they think they know me. So I go out of my way to show them respect and really say nothing to disrespect them. And the assholes who work here, surprisingly, there are very few, I just don’t ever speak to. Again I know me and I have learned, why even talk to them? It does no good. For the most part, there are some decent people who work here; they just do their job and handle business. I cannot do anything other than respect that.

Guards on DR and strip searches

The Guards here do everything, unlike in General Population where all a guard has to do is open a door and send the inmates wherever they need to go: Chow hall, shower, medical, whatever. In 12 building, it is different as the guards have to take us everywhere. To do so, before all else, they strip me down, going and coming. No matter what I am not leaving this cell for: day room, visit, or rec. Go to rec? Strip searched. Coming back from rec? Strip. Going to the shower? Strip. Going to medical? Strip. I’m a professional stripper! I can get naked in a blink of a eye! Hell, sometimes when I know they are coming for me, I am standing there naked waiting on them. I mean hell, I already know it is coming right? Just one less thing they have to tell me to do. There are some times I will have to get naked, man, 7-8 times a day! But I am used to it and it don’t bother me in the least. Some guys bitch and moan about it. Why? You’re going to do it in the end regardless whether you want to or not. Shy? Not me. It’s prison, it is a rule. Rule # 1. You’re gonna mind. Rule # 2. Or else.

So that is a typical day for me, wake up, eat, work out, read, write, draw and wait for my turn to rec and than wait some more for shower.

But yeah, the guards do everything here on 12 building. They escort us to and from rec and shower. They fed each and every cell. They pass out mail, they pick mail up. They pass out paper work. 12 Building guards are always on the move.

Different types of guards, Gassing an inmate

They have a different set of guards for the escort teams; they are the ones who come on the Pod and take people to visit, medical, court, etc. The guards who work on the Pod never leave the Pod unless they go to break, turn in count, the restroom or if they are on the suit up team.

The suit up team is a 5 man team. That are dressed in riot gear, football type helmet, vest, shin guards, gas mask, etc. There is always a ranking officer or two with them who will repeatedly ask an inmate to come out of the cell, day room or give the tray back. It isn’t like they just show up at an inmate’s door, gas him, roll the door and run in. At least not here on DR. They may do that to guys in GP Ad Seg, but I don’t think so, not on this unit. I mean once they gas an inmate, not only does the inmate get it, but it gets all over the guards as well. Gets on their clothing and that in turn gets in their car. They don’t like it, so yeah, I have seen them damn near beg an inmate to come out. But there are some [inmates] that once their mind is made up, nothing short of gas and getting run in on will do. Me? Never been gassed, never will unless they just hit me with it to be a asshole. But I will never intentionally allow them to gas me. They record each and every use of force by law.

I have been next to guys a few times who have been gassed. And let me tell you, I thought I was gonna die! I was on fire, and that shit doesn’t do anything but get hot, hotter and hotter. It gets everywhere on you; you cannot escape it when they’re gassing your neighbor. And it lingers too so with just that little taste, it was enough for me to decide it's easier to be get naked and wait on the guards when I know I'm being taken somewhere. I want no part of being gassed.

But I have to give it to those that can take can after can of that shit and have it not even effect them. And to be gassed in this small cell? It fogs it up so bad, I don’t see how anyone can even breath.

I have seen some guys wire themselves up [get pumped up] to get gassed. But man oh man, they can’t wait to get handcuffed after that first blast. “I can’t see, I can’t see, oh man I am on fire, I can’t breath”. Yes, they are on fire and can’t breathe! But I know some that can take that shit and tell the guards: “In my mouth, spray it in my mouth”. And there are some that the gas has no effect on. Me? That stuff makes me feel as if I am dying! I am not (hopefully) ever going to put myself in a position to get gassed. I never have. I have had friends tell me: “This is how you do it”. I listen and listen, and say: “Yeah, sure sounds like that will work”. But I would rather be there standing butt ass naked if I know they are coming for me than to challenge them and get gassed. You cannot win against 5 men in riot gear. Well I am sure there are some who try, but I would be a dumb ass to even try to take them on. No riot gear and no gas? I don’t think I could win that either. I’m not about to let them beat the crap out of me if I can help it although I did something foolish back in 2012, a long story, too long to tell. Short version is I got my ass whooped and I was handcuffed.

Lock Down

Lock down is something that happens every 90 days for 12 building. Never used to be like that but a few years ago TDCJ had a few escapes. One guy used a cell phone to have some chick come pick him up. He was in Ad Seg at another Unit, and I guess it is designed like this one. Well, he got his hands on a hacksaw blade and every time they would allow him to go outside, he would climb the bars and start sawing away. He had a plan, so one night he got out, climbed the razor wire fence without anyone seeing him, had this chick pick him up and away they go but were caught soon after.

The other one, the real serious one, was with this guy who was in a wheel chair. He had a gun smuggled in and one day they took him to the free world hospital and as the guards were doing something, he pulls the gun and holds one hostage while he made the other get out. He took their clothes and gun and drove away in the van. Went to Houston of all places as that is where he was from and where every law enforcement agency in TX was looking for him. It was winter and he was hiding in a school bus. Someone, I guess one of the bus drivers, showed up to work that day, saw him and called the police. And he took off. They caught him a few miles down the road. They said it seemed like he was happy to get caught. I guess It was too cold for him and he wanted to get back to his warm bed and a hot meal.

So that is why we now get hit every 90 days. It isn’t just Polunsky Unit, it is every Ad Seg in the state of TX. So it isn’t due to just DR being special.

And now every 90 days like clockwork, they lock it down. We get to shower every other day, 3 times a week. They feed us nothing but sack meals that wouldn’t even fill up a 12 year old boy. And throughout the years the meals got smaller and smaller. I think the word they like to use is ‘Budget cut’. Each sack is supposed to have a meat sandwich, a peanut butter sandwich for lunch and dinner, and some type of dried fruit, raisins or prunes. Breakfast is pancakes. They love feeding us pancakes. All week long, damn near every morning it is pancakes. Me, I like pancakes but not 6 days a week. I eat them anyway. Eat or starve. Most guys don’t even get up at 3:30 am for them, but I do. Breakfast is the best meal to me, even if it is pancakes. But man, these peanut butter sandwiches, they are annoying. Yes, they take two perfectly good items, blend it all together so bad that it is a runny mess. You can no longer taste the peanut butter or the jelly; instead it has this very strange taste. I just cannot eat them unless I am really hungry; then I will usually eat half my sandwich and drink a cup of water to hold me.

There is no rec or commissary on lock down, although we still can have visits. And if they do allow us to make commissary, it is usually for stamps and hygiene only. So we are stuck in these cells for 7 days on a 90 day lock down. We may get to shower two of those 7 days. So it is a lot of time to get caught up on reading, Me? I work out, read, draw, stare at the walls and kick myself in the ass.

Shake Downs

When they do ‘shake downs’, meaning hit each and every cell, they do one pod at a time. On 12 building there are 6 pods, each pod has 6 sections, each section has 14 cells. So they will pull everyone out of the cell on one row A-section, put them in the showers, then start searching all their property. They go through everything. They will take our mattresses out to the hallway where there is a x-ray machine, the kind you see at a airport. As the guards are going through the cells, I have to admit, for the most part they are pretty respectful about going through our things and handling things with care. Once they are done with one row, they put the mattresses back in the cells and then take everyone out of the showers (single man showers) and put them back in their cells. They will then bounce on up two row. Once two row is done, they will bounce over to B-section two row and do it like that until they hit F-section. Once they are done with us, they will truck on over to the next cell block / pod. They can usually knock out a pod in one day, two days at most. Than all you have to do is put your cell back in order and do whatever it is you do: read work out, write, draw, whatever. So, that will last about 7 days. After that, it is back to normal until the next 90 days.

Unit Lock Down

However, there is still the ‘Unit lock down’ we have to deal with as well. That is when they lock the whole prison down, and it can last 21 days or longer. This is a pretty big unit. I think it houses over or right at 5000 convicts. It is big, so they do the same thing out there, hit each and every cell. But it is a bit different I would guess. I think they make them take all their crap to the gym. Guards in the gym search the convicts property while guards remain behind to clean out the cells.

Storage of allowed property and supplies

For about 10 years now, they have been having us put all our property inside this red plastic crate, it is 2 ft x 2 ft. Everything you own has to fit in that box. They started this due to many inmates, men and women, being pack rats. Everything has to go into the box EXCEPT any electrical items, shoes, one dictionary, one bible, legal work, and a small amount of writing supplies (I think it's something like 6 writing pads and 150 envelopes). Electrical items include fan, typewriter, radio, headphones, booster, hot pot and night lamp. We are allowed to have two pairs of foot wear, either two pairs of shoes, or two pairs of boots, or one pair of each. As for clothing: 2T-shirts, 4 Boxer shorts, 2 prs socks, 2 gym shorts, 2 thermal shirts and pants. These must go into the box as well.

That’s about it as far as lock down. It is dull and boring and more so now since I don’t have a radio that I can rig up to listen to TV shows. I broke it and they don’t sell those kinds anymore. So since I can’t listen to TV anymore. I reckon my current radio will last me until the day they murder me or set me free. Unless they start selling a different kind that will allow me to pick up TV; if so, I will buy one. Until then this may be my last.

I do wish they sold us better art supplies. They sell us those little kiddy water color sets. I make do with them; some guys have mastered them. There are some outstanding artists here on DR. I ain’t too bad. I know if I stuck with it, I would be better but my mood to paint comes and goes. I am going to try and stick with it this time. I was on a roll there for a while, drawing a full board almost every week, but then I hit a bump in the road of life and it took all the wind out of me.

Friends and Pen Pals: Thank you

There are many of us, if not most, who rely on friends to help. If it wasn’t for the pen pals who come into our lives and shed some of their light in to our darkness, we would all be a little on the wild and half crazy side, if not full blown crazy. To my wonderful friends who help me, thank you. You write to me, buy me books and magazines and even send me some of your hard earned money. You help to keep me sane and give me hope. For what you do, I say thank you!

The letters, cards, friendship, help, and willingness to help make a difference in our lives on DR. It makes the world of difference between DR Seg and population Ad Seg; those guys have nothing: no books or magazines to read, no news papers, no radio, no family writing them, and sometimes no one writing them at all. So they are WILD, sitting in these cells day after day with nothing to do but stare at the walls. It is no wonder they are always entertaining themselves by flooding the walkways, building fires, assaulting the guards and each other, and banging, singing or yelling all night.

But Death Row? We have many supporters against the Death penalty who care, who take the time to write, who will give their hard earned money to buy books, mags and newspapers, commissary, radios etc. And that I truly believe is the dividing factor between us and Ad seg. We have things to keep us busy, to take our minds off the day most of us will surely have to face.

Sharing supplies with other inmates

We share with one another here on DR as well. One guy will have a book sent in and I assure you no less than 20 – 100 guys will read that book. One guy will get 10 different types of magazines and damn near everyone will read them and newspapers. We look out for one another when we can unless someone is just greedy and tight fisted. Most look out for the next man. We are able to help one another due to you people out there who write us, who take time to reach in and offer some type of support. Some just write and we never hear from them again and that's okay because we understand that you folks have lives, but still you reach in. I am sure I am speaking for everyone here when I tell you thank you, thank you very much.

It is the same way with commissary, if an inmate doesn’t make store [have money to buy food or supplies], we help each other if we can. I always have soups and coffee for those mentally ill guys. I just have this soft spot for them. I don’t let anyone fuck them over either not that there are many who would, but there are some. There are some real mentally ill guys here. But yeah, it is our friends who write us here on DR (and I’m sure every Death Row in the States) that keep us from going insane.

Your support keeps DR inmates sane

I can just imagine how it would be here if we didn’t have support from you folks out there. I already know how I would be. I was that way in the county jail. I was pretty wild, and why? Well, for one, I was a dumb ass at that time with nothing to do, nothing to look at, no newspapers, no books, no letters, no TV. So I would entertain myself by fighting with the guards and inmates.

And being sentenced to death? I think if it wasn’t for the support of the people out there, this would be a place worse then I can imagine. DR inmates ould be like those on Ad Seq but worse because most of us know we are going to be executed. And that would make men who have nothing to lose turn into something that no guard would want to deal with. I think whoever runs the prisons realized that they needed to give DR inmates some reason to be good: access to commissary, books, mags, newspapers, radio, penpals. Penpals give us, I know speaking for myself, a reason to be good. Now, I know my actions effect those that love and care for me. Granted I can still be a dumb ass, but not as often. I still get in trouble, but I try not to. I know my friends don’t like hearing I am down on F-pod at level two or three where I have to stay for 90 days, with even fewer possessions and perks than I have now as a level one.

I am truly grateful for all my friends, the old ones who no longer write, the current ones, and any I may make in the future. Writing helps keep me sane and you, my friends, keep me sane. You share your lives with me, newborn kids, grandkids, everything. You make me part of your life, me, a total stranger. That means the world to me, more than I could ever put into words. I care deeply for my friends as I know they do me.